


Dread the Wolf Howl

by JohskatheWise



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Blood Magic, Common isn't English, Demons, Elven Mage OC, Evolving Tags, Human to Elf, Language Barrier, MGiT, Mage, Modern Girl in Thedas, Modern Person in Thedas, OC insert, Portal Fantasy, Possible Body Snatching, Prompt Fill, Spirits, The Fade, The Hinterlands, Token of the Packmaster, Tumblr Prompt, Wolf Pack, Wolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-05-25 06:04:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6183541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohskatheWise/pseuds/JohskatheWise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>MGiT Prompt #5: The Modern OC arrives in the Hinterlands and finds the Packmaster amulet. Cue shenanigans featuring the Modern OC and their wolf pack.<br/>-Or-<br/>I wake up as a naked elf and am promptly chased around the woods by 20+ wolves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Token of the Packmaster

**Author's Note:**

> So this fanfiction was inspired by a ModernGirlinThedas's Tumblr Prompt. I wasn't going to write this, but holy shit I wanted to. So here's a prompt fill that I may or may not continue (but if I do, boy, do I have BIG plans).
> 
> Just want to give you a warning, this chapter has attempted rape and gore. If that bothers you, nothing actually happens on the first front, but the gore is probably gonna be a pretty persistant thing. Hope that didn't turn anyone off because I'm so excited about this!

I woke up outside.

I woke up outside and _naked_.

See, if this was a normal story, I’d tell you that my friends had taken advantage of my drunken stupor and dragged me to the middle of nowhere for shits and giggles. I’d also tell you that my friends were filming my freak out from behind some boulders and having a blast at my flailing.

There were two problems with that, though.

Numero uno, I don’t drink. Like, at all. Daddy dearest was an alcoholic, so let’s just say that I don’t see the appeal.

Numero dos? This isn’t a normal story. No, this is so far from normal I’m not even human anymore.

“Oh, my god,” I whimpered. The lips of the _thing_ in the pond’s reflection moved with my words. “No, no, please…”

The _thing’s_ ears drooped. Its _pointed_ ears.

“If there is a god…” My hand reached up slowly. The thing’s hand followed. Hesitantly, my finger touched the lobe of my ear. I inched it upwards, expecting it to round out. It didn’t.

Shivers racked my body at my touch. _Sensitive_.

The thing had followed me the whole time.

“Oh, god. Oh, god,” I moaned. “I’m an elf. I’m an elf. I’m stranded, I’m naked, and I’m an elf. Oh, _god!_ ”

My heart rate picked up, and my breathing became shallow. Spots danced in my vision to the point that I couldn’t see the thing’s too bright amber eyes and too flat nose and too sharp teeth. I couldn’t see its hair that was too light and too long, or its shoulders and arms that were too thin to be healthy and skin that was too dark. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be happening. I don’t even know what was happening, but it _couldn’t be happening._

I would have fallen unconscious if it wasn’t for the rustles of the leaves breaking my panic attack. The sound was so out of place in the quiet of the pond area I found myself in that it had my senses on high alert.

“Please, don’t be something bad,” I begged. I don’t know who I was begging to, but let’s just say that I was ignored.

Out of the bush came a single, brown paw. Yellow eyes seemed to glow from behind the shrubbery, and I knew that, despite the thing in the water and my unknown location, _this_ would be what fucked me over.

A wolf.

It was snarling at me, head low and eyes intent, and I could feel the other members of its pack circling around, blocking my escape.

“Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, _shit_.”

I didn’t think about it. Something in me just said to run, so I _ran_. Jumping over the head of the lead wolf with a surprising amount of grace, I took off into the greenery around me. The sound of pursuit followed me as I weaved between trees and hills. I ran quickly, too quickly, and I executed turns that should be impossible with little to no effort. My breathing was erratic from panic, not exertion, and this only made my breathing shallower and heart race faster.

“I’m going to die,” I sobbed. Even with tears obstructing my view, everything still looked too clear, too pristine.

Behind me, a loud, low howl pierced the air. Shortly after, several more howls responded. They came from around me.

“Go away!” I cried. “Just leave me alone!”

There was a break in the trees ahead of me. With desperation, I lunged through it…

…and into the arms of a man who reeked of stale beer and looked like he just stepped off a farm in an Arthurian legend movie remake.

He said some words in a strange language that I couldn’t understand, but the look in his eyes and the disgusting smile he wore needed no translating. The laughter of the two men beside him offered further interpretation.

I thrashed to get out of his grip. The wolves were a better alternative to these beasts. He was strong though, too strong. They laughed some more.

Paws shifted against the earth from beyond the tree line. I whimpered. The man’s friends looked apprehensive. The one on the right, shorter with straw-like hair and flat blue eyes, said something; he sounded worried. The one on the left nodded, his bald head marked with perspiration and his beady eyes flickering between me and the trees.

The man that held me laughed them off. He said something in a commanding tone towards the trees, and the wolves walked out slowly. Twenty odd wolves with their heads bowed low and tails between their legs formed a semi-circle around us.

His companions looked unsure. In response, the man removed one of his hands from me to root around in his dirty tunic. I held my breath. This is it, I thought. I can make a run for it.

In his hand, he held an amulet. It was a silver snarling wolf head with a long, sharp tooth protruding from its neck and bound by a grubby leather cord.

The man spoke some words to his companions casually. I don’t know what he said to them, but they relaxed. Their leering began anew. Seeing no other alternative, I slammed my knee into the man’s groin and pulled free. The men shouted angrily, reaching towards me, but I danced out of their reach and turned away from them.

The snarling brown wolf from before tackled me, its claws digging into my shoulders, teeth inches from my throat. A low, rumbling growl emanated from within its chest. _Stay down_ , its stance said. _Or die_.

I stared into its vibrant yellow eyes and saw the eyes of an animal. When I turned my gaze to the grunting, kneeling man, I saw the eyes of a monster staring back at me with soulless grey encircling a bottomless pit. He gave me a look that promised me Hell and no reprieve. I focused on the wolf again.

The man said something, commanding, hard and cruel.

The wolf’s eyes dimmed a moment before they brightened again, and he stepped off me and back in line with his pack. No longer an animal, but the monster’s marionette.

“What did you do?” I croaked. The men spat on me, speaking in harsh, guttural words. I pulled my eyes away from the cowering wolves around me and to them. “ _What_ did you _do_?”

The amulet around the man’s neck emitted a strange glow when he spoke again in his hard way. The wolves started growling.

Was he _controlling_ them!?

Panic skyrocketing, it became hard to breathe. I was hyperventilating and the sick bastards looked as if they were getting off on just my fear. These men had less than pure intensions and a fucking wolf pack in their thrall like some kind of fucked up magic show.

I was going to die.

The complete and utter terror that shot through me then froze me. Even when the men moved towards me, their leader in front, and reached to their trousers, I didn’t move. When their filthy, ugly hands pawed at my ( _wrong, so wrong, too wrong!_ ) body, I didn’t move. It wasn’t until their leader was knelt in front of me with his hands forcing my knees apart that I moved.

The sun reflected off of the man’s amulet, and I had this sudden all-consuming idea to reach out and grab it.

So I did.

With too fast reflexes, my too thin, too dark hand wrapped around the wolf tooth, grip too tight that it sliced the flesh of my palm open and sent a rivulet of blood streaming down my arm and to the floor. I _yanked_ until the leather cord snapped and thought only of how I wanted these men away from me. I wanted them _gone_. I wanted them _dead_.

And they were.

The wolves—with relish—pounced on the men whom couldn’t run even if they realized the danger they were in with their trousers tangled around their ankles as they were. Snarls, growls and barks filled the air as the men screamed out in _agony_ , their bodies torn apart and strewn around the clearing to be devoured once the deed was done. Blood and viscera coated every inch of my bare body, my eyes screwed shut and too pointy ears twitching with every new sound and pitch.

Sobs shook my body as my mind conjured up exactly what the wolves were doing to my assailants.

Then, silence reigned.

My cries were the only thing to break the stillness of the clearing. I refused to open my eyes because I could feel a warm, slick substance coating my face and didn’t want to risk getting whatever part of the men’s bodies—be it blood or organ—in my eyes when they were already _in my head and torn into itty bitty pieces._

The coppery taste of someone else’s blood on my tongue had me silencing my cries and whimpering.

There was a moment of rustling and shuffling approaching me, and the warm, wet feeling of a tongue dragging across my face from chin to brow assaulted me. My head jerked away quickly, the first thought in my head being that I was next on their menu.

That was quickly put away when the tongue continued to lick at my face as if I hadn’t moved away. When every inch of my face was licked, the tongue moved to my jaw and then my neck.

Only when the licking stopped did I open my eyes.

In front of me stood the brown wolf from before, standing proudly, yellow eyes gleaming.

 _Look at me_ , his eyes said. _I’m free._

“You’re free,” I nodded before tears gathered in my eyes as the severity of what almost happened to me hit me. “ _Oh, god_.”

The wolves shifted, their ears flicking, and the brown wolf whined. His head ducked down, eyes boring into mine, and he nudged me. This fucking wolf, whose fur was matted with blood and whose teeth had strings of muscle hanging from them, just took his gore covered nose and nudged me.

The move was so ridiculous that I burst out laughing. My laughs quickly turned to sobs, and I collapsed against the wolf. My hands gripped at his fur blindly, amulet still in hand, and I buried my face in his neck. He smelled of blood. He felt of blood. I was sitting in a puddle of blood and organs. I was naked and covered in blood. The desecrated bodies of three would-be rapists surrounded me. I was in the middle of who-knows-where. I was a fucking _elf_.

I sobbed until my stomach grew sick. I sobbed until I had to let go of the wolf in order to lean over and purge my body of its contents. I tried to aim for a patch of clean grass, but there wasn’t any. Just blood and bones and body parts. Now throw up.

When I was just dry heaving over a severed finger, I sobbed some more.

The wolves were growing antsy. They didn’t try to leave, and I couldn’t figure out why. That man had been controlling them, but he was dead now. Why weren’t they leaving?

The brown wolf whined again, but this time he nudged my left hand. My left hand was still gripping the amulet.

Gasping, I dropped it.

The silver wolf was crimson with my blood. A moment later, I watched as my blood seemed to _disappear_ into it.

“That’s fucked up,” I moaned. “This is so fucked!”

The wolf whined again.

Another wolf, this one a beautiful black with deep brown eyes, approached slowly. She whined quietly, calmly, her head low and eyes hooded. She kept my gaze firmly on hers. _Don’t look away_ , her eyes told me. _Be calm, child_.

Slowly, oh so slowly, she lowered her head to the bloody ground. Her mouth closed around the amulet carefully before she lifted her head, stepped towards me and dropped it in my naked lap. As one, every wolf dropped to their stomachs, head against the ground, and looked at me.

“Oh, shit,” I breathed.

I glanced away from the sight of over twenty wolves _kneeling before me_ briefly to look down at the amulet. Something had changed about it, but I couldn’t tell what. I played with the torn cord idly, my eyes locking with the black wolf once again.

“This is…mine?” I took a deep breath in when the wolf moved her head as if she was nodding and blew it out in a quick gust. “This controls you all…”

The brown and black wolf locked gazes for a moment, two, before they looked at me again and nodded.

I nodded back, pursing my lips.

“I’m fucking insane,” I laughed. “I’m surrounded by dead bodies, and I’m fucking insane.”

If wolves could look exasperated, these wolves did. Nearly all of them exchanged looks that just screamed “Is this bitch for real?”

A scared shout from a distance away had all of our ears twitching and heads turning. A couple of men, wearing similar clothes to what the men from before wore, stood at the tree line on the opposite side of the clearing. One held a pitchfork while the other held a hoe.

As one, the pack launched to their feet, hackles raised and growls thundering. The men stopped clutching at the tools in fear and held them as if they were weapons.

The shorter one said something angrily, waving his hoe around.

My experience with the last group of men was enough. Following the wolves’ example, I launched to my feet. The move wasn’t nearly as smooth as I slipped on particularly saturated patch of bloody grass, but I managed to catch myself before falling completely. Unlike the wolves, I wasn’t prepared to fight.

 _“Run!_ ” I yelled.

As one, a huntress and her hunting party, we ran through the trees, zipping between hills, jumping over boulders, me leading and then the wolves, until we arrived at a cavern hidden among the foliage.

It wasn’t until the black wolf was urging me in and the wolves started to settle around me that I realized they had taken me to their home and that I was now a part of their pack.

Somehow, I handed ended up in a place where wolf packs reached membership ratings of 20, amulets could control said wolves, men wore tunics and tights and went unwashed for who-knows-how-many days, and fucking elves frolicked.

And said used-to-be-human elves get adopted by said controlled wolves.

I was so fucked.


	2. Thief Among Sheep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First: Get Clean. Then? Find clothes. Of course, actually being able to speak to people would make that easier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was not expecting the response to this story. Really, guys, I love you. You really made me want to continue this, so here's the next chapter for you all. <3

I didn’t sleep last night at all. I was in a strange place surrounded by strange, oddly sentient wolves, and I had no idea what was going on. My nerves were through the roof, and it took all of my concentration not to burst into tears again. Sometimes, when my breathing would turn shallow and rapid, one of the wolves would kick out at me or nip at my flesh. I would jump and move closer to full on hyperventilation before the black wolf would make her whining sound and we’d all settle.

That was both soothing and completely unnerving.

On a lighter note, while I didn’t actually sleep, I did manage to get a bit of rest. Just sitting still in the dark of the cavern with dozens of warm bodies pressed against me was relaxing enough to help me recoup my energy. By the time the sun began to rise and the pack began to stir, I was in a calm, refreshed state.

Well, as refreshed as one can be when they’re naked and covered in blood.

Nervously, I tried to work myself out of the wolf pile I was in the center of to find a stream or pond or _something_ to get clean. My skin felt horribly itchy from where the blood had dried up, and I wanted to wash myself desperately.

Pushing through foliage that kept the camp hidden, I stepped out of the cavern and into daylight. In the dawn light, the forest around me was absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. Greenery grew tall and free, untouched by humans. Wildlife roamed the land unworried. The cavern we were in was nestled in a small ravine, with walls of rock surrounding it and trees sprouting from above. The sound of a waterfall was loud enough to hear just under the sound of the sleeping wolves within the cave, but overtook all noise out here.

I needed to find that waterfall.

Turning right, I followed the sound a few paces away from the entrance where it came into sight. Working my way around freezing puddles of water, I knew that the waterfall would be no better but willed myself to endure for the sake of my sanity.

I had a plan for today.

First, get cleaned up.

Second, find something to wear other than this damned amulet.

And, third, find out what the fuck is going on.

“This is bullsh-sh-sh-ah!” My teeth were chattering before I was even fully beneath the spray of the water. “Th-th-that’s c-c-c-cold! Sh-sh-shit!”

Not wasting any time, I scrubbed at my skin and hair furiously. The water around me turned a deep, scarlet red. Even when the blood was washed off and all that was left was dark skin, I kept scrubbing.

The panic from the day before was back. My skin was too dark now. It was a deep coppery color that should have been the lightest tan from my days in the sun at the beach. And my hair. My hair should have been black, like obsidian. Instead, it was pale white as if I was old and dying, not young and _human_.

No. No. Don’t think about it. We’re clean now. Time to get clothes. Worry about that later.

“Later,” I repeated aloud.

Nodding, I pulled myself out from under the spray of water and dragged myself to shore. Find clothes. I can do that. I just need to find a village and hope I don’t run into rape-y men. Right. Totally doable. Where’s the nearest village?

Shivering, I followed a path that led up a hill in order to get a better vantage point. There was some sort of weeping statue at the top that looked worn away, as if it had been there for many years. I eyed it for a moment, trying to determine if it belonged to any civilization I had learned about in college, before giving up. There were too many rocks blocking my view of the land, though, so I had to climb higher.

Finding the lowest of the rocks, I braced my hands against it and started to haul myself up. I hopped from rock to rock, getting steadily higher until there wasn’t any more rock to climb. And, boy, was I high up.

“Shit. Fucking shit. Oh, shit.” I scrambled away from the edge of the rock I stood on. I was way too high. Holy, hell, I was high.

Down below, I could make out a few huts surrounded by open land. A farm, I think. It was the only thing I could see that wasn’t wilderness, and, while I didn’t want to go near any farmland after what happened with those men, it was my best bet at finding clothing.

Incidentally, the rock I was on was actually more like a slab of land. It slanted on one end, creating a makeshift path down the slope and back to the waterfall I was at before (this would have been nice to know about before I scaled the rocks, but I’m not exactly overflowing with luck here). There was another path from there, not clearly defined, that pointed in the general direction of the farm I saw.

It lead me down the hillside on a two foot path. On one side, the path hugged the hill; there was a sheer drop on the other. My hands never left the hill as I descended. The fall wouldn’t be pleasant for me, I’m sure.

When I was safely on the ground, I made my way towards the farmhouse. There was a surprising amount of activity going on at this time of day, but I suppose farmers get up early, right? I decided to take this as a good thing when I peered through the window and saw a stack of freshly washed laundry.

A set of clothing, even ill-fitting, would be welcome.

I listened intently for any noise within the farmhouse for several moments. Beside the distant yells and clamors from the fields, there was nothing. I took a deep breath to prepare myself for what I was about to do— _You have no choice, Noemi. It’s not like you can understand them—_ and forced the window open.

Or, I tried to. It wouldn’t budge.

“Son of a—!”

Slamming my forehead against my arm in frustration, I felt hot tears prick at my eyes. I had no idea what I was doing. Everything was just so fucked up. What the fuck was even happening? I just wanted to go home and hug my dad. Just wrap my arms around him and feel squished in his thick arms. I mean, he was a pain in the ass sometimes with his police do-goodery, but he was always there for me. He’d know exactly what to do.

_Like not stealing from poor, unsuspecting farmfolk_.

But what the hell was I supposed to do? I’m _naked_ —and an elf!—in the middle of fuck-town-nowhere and was nearly raped just yesterday! I couldn’t just keep wandering without clothes. Or shoes. Or without food.

C’mon, Noemi. Get your game face on. You can do this. Just pretend this is an extremely well-lit level of _Thief._ Make Nocturnal proud with your stealth skills. Fuck your ‘insufficient skill’ and do this!

I was perched upon a boulder that was resting against the side of the farmhouse, so I didn’t have anything around me to help me ease the window open, but one of the farmhands had left a rusty knife on the fencepost a few feet away from my hiding spot. A quick glance around showed that anyone that could see me was thoroughly distracted. Before I could convince myself otherwise, I dropped down from my hiding spot silently and stalked over to the post. I swiped the knife up and quickly returned to the shadows of the farmhouse.

No sounds of alarm. Good.

I ran a hand through my unnecessarily long hair, relieved.

Okay, now the hard part.

Taking the knife in hand, I eased the tip beneath the rim of the window and shoved until it was firmly locked beneath it. The window creaked ominously, loud in the stillness of my hiding spot. I felt my pointed ears twitch, searching for sounds of suspicion.

Nothing.

Sighing, I started to ease the window up. The creak of rusted metal sliding upward grew louder. I stopped when there was enough room for my fingers to slide through. In one forceful swoop, I forced the window open enough for my small, undernourished body to slip through.

It was a testament to how corroded the metal of the frame was that the window didn’t slide shut. At least I had an escape route.

My landing was silent within the farmhouse. Nobody was inside. Crouching low, I made my way to the clean pile of clothing and started sorting through it. The only feminine clothing within were tattered dresses that I did not want to brave the surrounding woodlands in. The male clothing was too large.

Aggravated, I grabbed the three longest tunics (off-white, green, and brown, respectively) and the smallest pair of pants within the pile. Pants was overstating them, though. They were more like tights. Leather tights. I cringed and grabbed an additional cotton pair that was definitely too large for me.

As I was sorting through the clothing, I heard the sound of someone moving towards the house. Panicking, I searched for a place to hide because there was no way in hell I was going to be able to make it back through the window without being caught. Still holding onto my new clothes, I dove under the bed in the corner of the lower level.

The door opened, and the dirty work boots of a man with thudding steps came into view. He moved around the house surely. This was most likely the owner of the farm, if his familiarity with the house was anything to go by.

His steps brought him to the bed, and I had to hold my breath because he _was right there_. I couldn’t tell what he was doing, but I could hear the sound of clinking metal. Wood sliding open, a thud. Wood sliding shut. Then he left the house, back to working the fields.

I stayed beneath the bed until his steps were far out of range and my heart had stopped pounding in my ears.

“That was so close,” I gasped.

I scrambled out from beneath the bed, clothes still clutched in my arms, but nearly fell on my face when my foot caught on something. I managed to stop my fall, and I turned to see what I had tripped on. It was a leather satchel, large and worn with what looked like dogs engrave on it. I stared at it for a moment before I came to a decision. Swiping the bag up, I tipped it over and dumped its contents out on the bed. A stack of papers flew out of it, though they looked more like parchment, and the writing was like nothing I had ever seen. They almost looked like runes instead of letters.

I would have examined it more if it wasn’t for the map that I found hidden among the stack. A _familiar_ map. A _fictional_ map that looked extremely real and detailed.

It was a map of Thedas.

“Fuck me,” I moaned. No. Nope. This was not happening. I refused. This farmer was just a very devoted fan to the Dragon Age series. Yup.

Then again, this house didn’t seem particularly _modern_ …

Nope. Not going there. Not real. Moving on now.

Still, I snatched the map up and, along with the clothing, stuffed it into my new satchel. I was about to leave the house before I thought better of it. Turning around, I looted through the dresser the man had used earlier. My fingers wrapped around a heavy bag the size of my palm. Opening it revealed several unfamiliar coins of bronze, silver and gold.

I pocketed it.

I also made sure to grab some food before I left. No way would I demean myself to stealing and still die of starvation.

Looking around the house once more, I tossed my bag out of the window and pulled myself through. Forcing the window shut was nearly impossible, so I abandoned that line of action and scurried back up to the waterfall. I would get dressed once I was up there and away from any possible peepers.

Unfortunately, I had barely crested the hill when I heard a deep growl and was pounced upon.

“Argh!”

Pain erupted along my back as I was slammed down without mercy. Through squinted eyes, I locked gazes with unamused yellow eyes. _Where do you think you’ve been?_ His gaze demanded.

“Are you kidding me!?” My head thumped against the ground as I groaned. Of course he’d have followed me, that asshole.

The brown wolf let out an annoyed bark, putting pressure on my shoulders to the point that his claws drew blood before he relented and backed away from me.

I hissed, snapping my hands up to my wounds. “What the hell do you think you’re doing!?”

_You shouldn’t have run away_ , his eyes told me, and fuck if he didn’t look smug.

“You didn’t have to hurt me! Dammit, now it’s gonna get infected.” The idea of dying from the tiny little cuts on my shoulders was not appealing, and I could feel my panic growing. Why didn’t I think to take medicine from the farmhouse!? I don’t want to die!

The brown wolf made an annoyed little huff and walked closer to me. He nudged my hands away from the marks and licked at them. It was reminiscent to how he licked blood off of me yesterday, only this time he was licking open wounds with _the same mouth that tore three people to shreds yesterday._

“Gross! Gross, gross, gross!” I shoved his face away and he gave me the grumpiest face a wolf could make. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, okay? You’re really cute, but germs. Bacteria and infection, and _gross_!”

I swiped at my chest frantically. I just wanted the wounds healed and gone so that I wouldn’t die in the stupidest way ever because _hello!_ I slept amidst a wolf pack, so there has to be cooler ways to die.

It was with these thoughts in mind that the biggest, shittiest, _coolest_ thing to ever happen happened.

My hand glowed bright, vibrant blue, and my cuts _healed_.

“Shit! Shit, shit, _shit!_ ” I would have thrown my hand away from me if it wasn’t attached to my body. Instead, I settled for looking at it in dumbfounded horror. “No, no, no. No no no nononono! This is not happening! Holy shit. Did you see that? Tell me you saw that, please!”

The brown wolf stared at me, deadpan. _Of course, I saw it, idiot. I was right here_ , I could practically hear him say.

“That was—I have no idea what that was, but how the fuck did I do that!?”

Okay, Noemi. Calm down. You’re an elf. You just healed yourself. Elves heal, right? So that was—what? Healing magic? Is that a thing I could do now? Okay. Yeah, let’s roll with that. I’m an elven healer. Cool. That’s cool. Right? Right. Not freaking out.

“This _cannot_ be happening!”

Okay. I’m freaking out.

I’m an elf. I’m dark skinned and pale haired. I’m a…mage? And I’m still fucking naked!

The brown wolf made a sound that sounded suspiciously like laughter. Bastard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was up to your expectations. Turns out our little Noemi is an elven mage. Who knew, right? xD  
> Please leave a review to let me know what you think, what you want to see, any criticism. I want to hear from you. <3


	3. Swarms of Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently fashion is a much more pressing issue than figuring out why a human is suddenly an elf. If only wolves understood that and didn't try to force an existential crisis. Honestly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I meant to upload this on Easter, but I had trouble with the ending. I honestly meant to include a lot more, but it didn't seem to flow like I wanted to, so here ya go! :D
> 
> Have some therapeutic wolves (now in the named variety)! <3
> 
> Abuelita (Spanish): Little grandmother.

When I said that my stolen clothes were going to be too large for me, I wasn’t kidding. I felt like a child playing dress up with the way everything draped. Seriously, I could squeeze my torso through the neckline.

I freaking loved it.

With the decision to completely ignore all of my problems, I pulled my arms through the neckline and did up the front laces so that the brown tunic was like a strapless dress. Honestly, it looked like I was wearing a potato sack it was so big. The neckline was loose enough that it wasn’t restricting, but I still felt like it could fall if I wasn’t careful. Crossing the sleeves and tying them around my neck, I secured the garment. Honestly, no one will ever know how amazing it felt to have my nipples covered. They were starting to ache from being exposed to the chilly air for so long. Wearing this was probably the best decision I could have made today.

A part of me wondered what why roommate Angela, a design major, would say about my outfit. She’d hate it and lecture me, but I honestly couldn’t bring myself to care. I mean, yes, I was swathed in shapeless fabric, but I was in the wilderness so who was gonna judge?

The brown wolf made a choking sound from his spot under a shady tree.

That asshole, apparently.

“You need a name,” I grumbled as I sorted through my new clothes. Unfortunately, the leggings were going to be problematic since one pant leg could fit _both_ of my legs in it. Of course, since I wasn’t going to steal someone else’s underwear, I was sorely lacking with adequate…coverage of my lower extremities; I couldn’t just do without the leggings.

Perhaps I could tear up the sides and make little knots to tighten it? My friends did that on t-shirts for pep rallies in high school. It _could_ work, but I didn’t have anything sharp. _Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why didn’t you grab a knife from the house?_

The fact that I’m yelling at myself for not stealing a kitchen utensil says something about me. I don’t think it’s positive.

Sighing, I turned to the brown wolf who was regarding me calmly. “Did you hear me? You need a name. I can’t just keep calling you ‘brown wolf.’ That’s rude. I mean, I would hate it if people kept calling me ‘woman’ or something. This one time, this dude called me a ‘borderhopper’ when he heard me speak Spanish. My mom’s Cuban, thank you. She took a plane to get into the U.S. I hated him. Anyway, moral of the story: you need a name. How do you like Balto? Or Fido? No! Cato! Cato.”

The brown wolf—now dubbed “Cato”—stared at me with the most deadpanned expression a wolf could muster.

“Your name is Cato. I’m Noemi.” I did a stupid little half bow with my right fist touching the bottom of throat and my left arm behind my back. “Why are you following me?”

Cato sighed, like, legit _sighed_ , and walked towards me. He stepped around my satchel and the pile of clothes strewn around me (I was touched by the consideration) and yanked the amulet out from under my tunic-dress with his grubby wolf-teeth.

“Hey!” I shoved his head away from me, but his teeth were still clamped tightly around the cord of the amulet, so I only succeed in knocking myself down. “Oomph!”

My wolfy companion made that choking sound again, and I realized that he _was laughing at me_.

“You suck, Cato,” I moaned.

He didn’t care apparently because he just kept yanking on the cord as if that was the answer to the univer—oh. Sitting up, I pulled the cord out of his mouth and lifted the pendent up to eye level. It was just like I remembered with only one difference; the eyes were amber now, not silver. My elf eyes were amber… Through a narrowed gaze, I looked at Cato.

“I control you with this.”

Cato tossed his head and sneezed. He stood tall and never looked away from my face.

“Okay, I _can_ control you with this, but I’m not.”

He tilted his head to the side.

“And you’re following me because…?”

 _Think, idiot,_ his eyes urged.

“Ugh, we really need to work on your manners, asshole.” Cato growled. “Okay, okay! Sheesh. Let me think. This amulet lets me control you, right? Okay. You’re not being controlled right now, but you’re following me anyway. Why? What did I do? I…uh, I don’t know what that look means…Okay! Yeesh. I took the amulet from…ugh…and I—shit. I ordered you to kill him and his friends, didn’t I?”

I felt myself turning green at the thought, but Cato barked once, loudly, and drew me back to the matter at hand.

“Right. So, I gave you an order, and then we ran because I gave you another order. But I haven’t given you anymore orders, so what am I missing?” I stared at the amulet for a long time, willing it to tell me its secrets. “I took the amulet. You obeyed. No, that’s not it. There’s something else, dammit!”

My hands curled up into fists as my frustration grew, but a sting in my right hand drew my attention away from the amulet. A long, crescent scratch ran across the center of my palm. Of course!

“I took the amulet, _bled_ on it, and _then_ you obeyed. So, what? I’ve bound you to me. With…with magic. _Blood_ magic. Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m a blood mage. I’m a fucking blood mage. Oh, no. Oh, no. Don’t you have to make a deal with a _demon_ to be a blood mage?! What the fuck did I do!?”

I panicked. I was panicking. My heart was accelerating. My emotions went haywire. Around me, the temperature dropped from a pleasant apartment temperature to freezing-cold-holy-shit-get-me-a-jacket. I could see my breath puffing in front of me erratically.

Blood magic. Map of Thedas.

No. Nope. Get it together, Noemi. If this was Dragon Age then this would be th-the Hinterlands, and that would mean Redcliffe was nearby, and it’s _not_ , so calm the fuck down.

“Calm down, Noemi. Calm down,” I breathed, my eyes screwed shut. “Calm. Calm. Breathe.”

When I managed to stop the rising panic, I opened my eyes and promptly slammed them shut. Around me, the little waterfall outside the cave and the pooled water was frozen solid. The trees had a fresh coat of snow upon them, and the rocks were coated with frost.

“ _Calm down_!”

There was a whine from within the cave that had me opening my eyes again. The black wolf stood at the entrance, her face peering out from behind frozen foliage. Her brown eyes were fixed to my face as she whined again.

“You need a name,” I gasped, grasping for something else to think about.

The black wolf whined again, dipped her head, and walked carefully over to me. She kept her head low, ears back and tail tucked between her legs as she approached me. Submissive, nonthreatening.

“You’re very…motherly. How about Hera? No. She let her husband sleep around. You wouldn’t do that, would you? No, you need something better. How about Amynta? My _abuelita_ was named Amynta. Ma said she was very motherly. Do you like that name?”

Amynta’s ears perked up, and I grinned. Amynta and Cato. They were nice names. Strong. Sweet. Perfect. I didn’t let myself think of anything else but their names until my heartrate had gone down.

When my panic receded, the ice holding the waterfall in place started to crack from the pressure. The snow was melting, and the frost disappeared in the relative heat of the day.

I was hugging Amynta now, a tight grip around her torso. “I have no idea what’s going on,” I croaked.

She whined again, nudging me insistently with her snout.

“Okay! Okay. I get it. I need to stay calm.” But the silence that followed only served to throw me into another panic. “How did I _get_ here? _Why_ am I an _elf_? And what the _fuck_ did I do to learn _blood magic_!?”

Cato made a discontented noise, but Amynta silenced him with a look. The exchange that followed was, well, strange. They looked like they were arguing. But, like, they’re wolves, so they were just exchanging these really wolfy facial expressions complete with bared teeth and twitchy ears.

I probably would have wondered about the sentience of wolves if I wasn’t busy fighting off the dark edges of my vision. Now is not the time to pass out, Noemi. Keep it together! I gripped the sides of my head tightly and began to shake. I wasn’t handling this. I was so far from handling this!

The force of two clawed paws slamming into my shoulders sent me sprawling across the ground. A jagged rock dug into the small of my back and the warm, putrid smell of decaying flesh and stale breath assaulted me.

Cato was staring me down menacingly, and I felt my heart jump into my throat.

“Get away from me!” I yelled, flinching away from this wild predator that could _rip my throat out if he wanted to like why was he so close!?_

His eyes flashed a bright yellow before dimming into a murky brown, and he retreated mechanically. When he was a significant distance from my prone form, he shook his head violently and started growling at me.

His eyes were yellow again.

“Did I just…? I’m sorry!” I sobbed. I pulled my knees to my chest and hid my face against my knees. I had controlled him. I had controlled Cato so that he would get away from me. I took away his free will! Damn this amulet! Yanking it off of me, I bunched it up and threw it into the shallow pond. “I don’t want it! I’m sorry!”

The growling stopped, and Cato made a sound that reminded me of something my father would do whenever he thought I had done something intentionally stupid. It was like a scoff that was drawn out into a sigh. Usually, it was accompanied by a roll of the eyes and the crossing of arms. With a wolf, it just sounded like he was hacking up a furball.

There was the sound of splashing water and then the rotting flesh and stale breath was replaced with wet dog. Not sure if it was an improvement, if I’m being honest, but the source was definitely interesting. Cato was standing in front of me, soaked, with the amulet in his mouth. He gave me a flat look for a whole minute before he opened his mouth and the amulet fell into my lap. Then, still staring at me, he plopped his butt down directly in front of me.

 _Panic,_ his eyes said. _I dare you_.

Amynta shuffled over as well, closer than Cato even, and rubbed her warm body against my chilled skin. Her touch brought me a strange sort of comfort.

“Alright.” I tugged the amulet back on hesitantly. “I just _really_ want to know what happened to me.”

Amynta yipped at me, licking at where Cato’s claws had punctured my shoulders, and nudged at the back of my neck to get me up. With shaking legs I climbed to my feet and picked up my new belongings. I promptly stuffed them into my new bag before Cato yanked it out of my hands and took them into the cave. Amynta didn’t let me go after him. Instead, she tugged at the bottom of my tunic-dress and urged me on in the opposite direction of the farm.

I listened to her.

Not long after, there was a long, low howl from behind us. Amynta raised her head and howled back. This was followed by several more howls and the pounding of dozens of feet approaching us.

By the time Cato broke through the thicket, followed by the rest of the pack, Amynta had let go of me and was picking up speed to keep up with them. The surge of panic I felt when I started to fall behind forced me to follow along, and soon we were running like we did yesterday. We were one unit, aiming for the same, unknown destination. It felt religious in its solidarity.

We ran for hours. Even when my stomach started bunching up in protest of its lack of food and my lungs started burning, we ran. I was fairly active Before, but this was ridiculous. I felt like I could go on for eternity like this, running with the pack, but Cato and Amynta had other ideas. We crested a hill and a herd of fat, fluffy rams came into view.

So did a slap in the face.

In the distance, I could see a walled village being overlooked by an imposing castle. The Redcliffe heraldry hung from the flag poles, a tower upon a red hill, and I knew what that meant. That was Redcliffe. That was Redcliffe. This was the Hinterlands. There’s nothing that could explain a fucking castle bearing the Redcliffe heraldry unless Dragon Age had some very extremely peculiar fans.

No. Nope. Nope. Nope nope. No, _God_.

The startled baying of the rams was my wakeup call this time. It was followed quickly by wolf snarls, breaking bones, and tearing flesh. The amount of blood on the ground only served to spiral me into a further sickness, and I had to lean over to throw up. Except that I didn’t have anything in my stomach to vomit. I hadn’t eaten since before I woke up by that pond, and I had already emptied my stomach after those men were— _Stop thinking about it. Now._

Cato barked impatiently at me, and I flipped him off because _fuck him_ and his apathetically furry ass. I’m having an existential crisis over here! He swung his head upwards in response (exasperation? irritation? A cross between them, perhaps?) and barked commands at the other wolves. They all looked to me in a synchronized creepfest that spooked my already frazzled nerves and then dragged the rams out of sight towards the direction we had come. Cato went with them after exchanging a long look with Amynta.

There was silence for several minutes before I broke it. “That’s really Redcliffe, isn’t it? I’m really here. I can’t… _how_ am I here? Why aren’t I m-e?” My voice cracked painfully, pitifully, on the last word.

Amynta whined. She gripped the hem of my tunic-dress and dragged me further down the hill away from the pack. Soon, the trees around us began to look familiar, and I found myself back at the pond I had started out at.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t as serene as I had remembered.

The buzzing of dozens of flies cut through the calm of the area, and the smell of death cloaked the air with a heavy stench. I gagged, slamming my hand to my sensitive nose.

“What is that!?”

Amynta gestured to a few boulders to the left of the pond. It was a few feet away from where I had spent my time the day before, and I felt apprehensive about walking over there. She was insistent though, and, jumping up to her back legs, _pushed_ me towards the rocks. Stumbling, I obliged.

I wish I hadn’t.

Behind the boulders was an elven female. Her flesh was destroyed by decomposition and, from the way her entrails were torn out, scavengers. What little I could make out of her features told me that she had thick, long light brown hair and skin of a similar color. Her face was what struck me the most. Through the discoloration and the missing portion of flesh on her left cheek, I could make out a familiar face.

She had my face.

Well, I suppose, I had _her_ face.

“What the fuck is going on, Amynta!?” I gasped. I tripped over myself trying to get away as quickly as I could. “She—I—we— _I need answers_. I’m not an elf. I’m human. I’m not me. _Why do I have her face!?_ ”

That’s about when I passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly didn't want to cut it off here because it leaves so much unanswered, but the next chapter will definitely tell us how Noemi came to Thedas (and how she can get back to Earth)! I'm particularly excited about the blood magic bit because whatdemondidNoemitalktoandwhycan'tsherememberthis!? 
> 
> Please leave a comment and/or visit me on my tumblr.  
> I now have a blog specifically for all things dragon age fanfiction (writing, prompts, questions, recs, etc.): johskawritesda.tumblr.com so feel free to stop by and talk or something. ^-^


	4. A Debt Repaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuck Thedas. Just fuck it all to Hell. Trees are not meant for burning!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay guys! The semester is winding down, so I have lots of work to do right now. On the bright side, I only have like two exams to worry about. On the bum side, I have two written assignments that I haven't started yet due this week. Yay procrastination~!
> 
> Anyway, thank you to everyone whose commented and left kudos. You rock! :D

The world was green. I mean, it was green before, what with it being the Hi-nterlands ( _don’t think about_ ), but now the air itself was green. And moving. It was peaceful.

Which was suspicious because I get sick looking at a rocking chair, _so why am I perfectly content to be here?_

This place, wherever I was, felt like home. I wanted to run up to the deformed trees and hug them. I wanted to frolic around and speak to the boulders, sing to the shrubs, dance with the wisps. I wanted to stay righ— _wait. Wisps?_

Indeed, there were four orbs of varying colors twirling in the air a few paces from me, content and happy. They were so carefree, with no drive or ambition to do anything but what they were doing. They were free to do what they wished and wished to do what they did.

I felt giddy. The wisps made me so happy. It was like a blanket of joy was draped over my very soul, and I couldn’t stop the giggles that erupted from my throat. Oh, I wanted to be like them! To be able to fly through the Fade as I pleased and welcome each and every visitor how I wished!

My sudden high crashed. The Fade. I was in the Fade. No. Nope. Not happening. The Fade isn’t real.

Without thinking, my eyes flew upwards, searching, and widened when they landed on a floating, black city in the distance. It was dark, ominous, a place of nightmares, and I took an involuntary step backwards.

No. No no no. I want to leave. Wake up! Wake up, Noemi! The dead body is better than this. Go back. Go back, dammit! I want to go back!

“Oh, but you’ve only just gotten home,” a sickly, honeyed voice stopped me.

My eyes squeezed shut. No. I won’t look. If I can’t see it, it can’t see me. Don’t open your eyes, Noemi, and it’ll go away. Go away. Just go away.

“Is that really what you want, Freedom? For me to leave? I’m hurt. I thought we were friends. Especially after I helped you _so_ much.” A claw ran across my cheek, and I couldn’t stop myself from looking.

Purple skin, scaled horns, flaming hair. Desire demon. I stumbled back.

“Go away!” I yelled. “Leave me alone!”

“Now that’s just mean,” Desire pouted. Its voice was teasing, beguiling, as it had been through the whole conversation. “And after all the lengths you went through to get me to speak with you. You’ve changed so much.”

“I-I…what?” It knew me? Or maybe it knew the b-body that looks like me—that I look like.

“You don’t remember.” Desire was not amused anymore. It stepped closer to me, hips swinging, and peered at my face seriously. It lifted my chin, stopping briefly when I flinched away, and turned my head back and forth. Its purple reptilian eyes were intense; I couldn’t look at them directly.

After a long, silent moment of the demon scrutinizing me, it made a low, displeased sound.

“Fool,” Desire said. It sounded sad. “Give a being the Freedom to change its fate, and it meets its end. What of the girl? Her end was met, yet here you are with a stranger’s face and a stranger’s thought. Such a familiar spirit in such strange clothes…”

“I don’t…I, what? Do I know you?” I asked.

Desire let go of me swiftly, took a floating step backwards, and smirked. The sadness hidden away. “You know me no longer, but that will be rectified. I gave you the knowledge you sought, and now you must pay for what your desire has wrought.”

I tried. I swear, I did, but I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. It was a bit on the hysterical side. “Did you just…? You just rhymed! I’m sorry! Really. I wasn’t expecting that. Sorry.”

For its part, Desire looked pleased. “Such a simple sense of humor,” it mused. “Perhaps not so strange, after all. No matter. We must discuss your payment. Without my intervention, it would be your end that you’d have met at the hands of those brutes.”

My giggles stopped abruptly. “What? ‘Your interv—.’ _You’re_ the reason I know blood magic!” I accused. This was the demon I made a deal with? No wonder it was upset I didn’t remember it. But why would I seek it out to begin with? Maybe to get home? But that doesn’t make sense. I wouldn’t want to make a deal with a demon.

“Knowing is not a word I would use to describe your…ability to use the arcane art,” Desire scoffed. “But, yes. I am the reason you now have a pack of loyal beasts as an extension of yourself. I am also the reason you find yourself in such a mundane state. I have held my end of our bargain. Now you must hold up yours.”

“My end? What end? What did I agree to? I don’t remember any of this! Why did you make me an elf? Why do I look like a dead elf? Why did you bind a pack of wolves to me? What that hell did I do!?” I was panicking again.

The wisps were shaking violently now, their glow intensifying. They sounded pained even though they made no sound. Why were they in pain? They were going to blow up! Someone help them!

“Control yourself,” Desire snapped, whipping my forehead with the tip of its tail. I blinked, panic abated, and the wisps returned to normal. “You dare corrupt the free with your pathetic fear? Perhaps I should just take your ability to feel and be done with you.”

“No!” I yelled. Take my ability to feel? Did it want to make me Tranquil!? “I’m sorry! I just—! I don’t know what’s going on… Can you,” I took a breath, “help me? I need to remember how I got here.”

Desire stared at me. Its tail wrapped around its waist lazily as it stared. It stared at me for so long that I began to tug on my hair and bite at my nails because _why are you staring at me? Can you just stop already!?_

“Such a strange creature,” Desire murmured at last. “You’ve yet to settle your debts with me, and already you ask for more. Are you really so free with your obligations?”

I swallowed. “N-no,” I hoped that was the right thing to say. “I’ll pay you back, somehow, and then you’ll tell me how I got here. Then I’ll pay you back for that. Too. I’ll pay you back for that, too. J-just, name your price.”

_Please don’t ask me to kill something. Please don’t ask me to let you possess me. Please don’t possess me and then kill something._

“My, my,” Desire grinned. “Didn’t you ever learn not to make deals with demons? We might ask for more than you’re willing to give.”

_I know_. “Can you just tell me what you want so we can get this over with?” I snapped. _Shit. Noemi, why!?_

It was going to kill me. No, it was going to possess me. Why, oh, why, did I open my mouth!? Fuck you, Noemi! Fuck. You.

Desire’s smile turned wicked, menacing, and I felt my heart stop. Then, it threw its head back and _laughed_. Not even an evil, maniacal laugh, but a genuinely amused laugh that had me feeling all type of ways because _I thought you were going to kill me, what the fuck is wrong with you!?_

“Very well, then,” Desire hummed. “I want a heart.”

“You need one,” I said before I could stop myself. I slapped my hands over my mouth quickly, staring wide eyed and afraid at the demon. I did not mean to say that. I swear, I didn’t mean to say that!

Desire arched a brow at me. “Not just any heart, of course. I want the heart of the little elf whose face you’re possessing.”

I paled. “What? Why? How would I even get it to you?”

“What is what I said. Why is none of your concern. As for how, well,” she purred, “you’ll eat it.”

This was Desire’s punishment. It had to be. That last part was said with way too much glee to be anything but sick, sadistic pleasure. Is this what happens when you insult a demon?

“But it’s decomposing!” I argued. There were probably flies and maggots all over it by now. Toxic bacteria that would leave my stomach rolling. I’d probably fall ill from it. What temperature would a fire have to be to burn away that much rot? I could boil it first, clean it, and then roast it over an open flame. It wouldn’t be that bad, maybe. Just pretend that it’s a cow heart. You’ve had those tons of times, Noemi. It’d be just like a cow heart. A decomposing cow heart. A decomposing cow heart that happens to have belonged to a _person_.

“Raw,” the demon added.

“What?” No. Please, no.

“Yes,” Desire cackled. “I want the little elf’s heart. You must eat it to give it to me. It must be eaten raw. No cleaning. No cooking. Once you’ve finished your _meal_ , return here and I will answer your questions to the best of my abilities.”

“Wait, no—!”

“Do not screw this up, little wolf. We share a bond that transcends blood now. I can make life very unpleasant for you. Now, _wake up_.”

Brown, worried eyes were staring at me when I awoke on the ground next to the dead elf’s rotting corpse. Amynta whined, her snout pressing against my face insistently. _Are you alright?_

“No,” I croaked. I had to eat her heart. I didn’t want to. But what happens if you displease a demon? _Possession_ , my mind answers. I don’t…I don’t want to be an abomination.

Unsteadily, I turn over and crawl towards the corpse. I examined it closely. There were flies, yes, but nothing else of note was really crawling around it. Scavengers had picked off some flesh and guts, but not much. Small scavengers, then. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad? I mean, it’s a heart. It’s just a muscle. Like eating a cow heart. Just, raw, and elven. Elf heart. Sounds like something they’d serve in Tevinter. _No. Not in Dragon Age. Stop. So what if there was a desire demon? It never actually said it was a desire demon. It could just be a regular demon._

As if there are regular kinds of demons.

Stop distracting yourself, Noemi! You need to do this. So do it. Do it. Come on, you can do it.

_I don’t want to do it!_

Holding my breath, I steeled my nerves and reached into the hole in the elf’s abdomen. Torn intestines and flattened organs caressed my hand as I reached passed them. I had to get to the heart. Everything was squishy, though. Where was it? My nails scraped along the inside, searching for the membrane that surrounded the heart. I couldn’t tell if I had found it.

Amynta was jumping around me nervously, whining loudly, her ears flicking back and forth. I was elbow deep inside the elf’s body. Tears stung my eyes. My lungs burned. I tried to breathe through my mouth to ease the tension, but the thick musk of decomposition left the taste of rot on my tongue. I leaned over and dry heaved over a patch of grass.

Finally, my nails broke through something inside the body, and my hand wrapped around her heart. I pulled. It didn’t budge at first, but I kept pulling. Part of the heart tore away, so I reached again, grabbed, and pulled.

I had two parts of her heart now, and I had to eat both of them.

“Oh, _God_ ,” I moaned. I don’t want to do this. Why? What the fuck did I do to deserve this? _Made a deal with a demon, apparently_. Fuck me! Fuck it! Fuck everything! This isn’t fair!

I lifted the pieces in front of my face in one hand, torn, flat and bloodless, and opened my mouth. Just eat it. Ignore what it is. Just eat it. You can do this. It was an inch from my mouth before I backed out. No. I can’t do this. You have to. No. I can’t. Do it! No!

Amynta swooped in and gobbled up the heart from my hands.

“No!” I yelled. Without though, I tackled her to the ground, reaching for her muzzle. She can’t eat that! I made a deal! “Give it back! Amynta, drop it!”

She kept chewing, swallowing the chunks down quickly. Why isn’t she listening to me!? Damn this amulet for never working when I want it to!

“I need that heart! Stop! _Please_!”

The last piece went down her gullet quickly, and I was left a defeated mess. Amynta sat on her haunches licking her chops calmly, and I felt the world turn to gray. The demon wanted me to eat that heart as payment for its services. What would it do now that I couldn’t do that? Tranquil or Abomination? Which is worse?

I stared at my lap despondently. “Why?” I croaked.

Amynta whined.

My eyes snapped up to her and glared. “Why would you do that? I needed that heart! Now I have to explain to a demon why I can’t pay it back! Do you realize what that means!? As soon as I sleep, I’m dead. I’ll…I’ll be dead.”

My shoulders sagged. I still have no idea why any of this is going on, but it won’t matter, will it? That demon was real. I failed, so it’s going to kill me. I don’t want to die. I’m not ready to be dead.

Man, how many times have I spiraled into despondency since I woke up here? Too many.

“I just want to be left alone,” I whimpered. Amynta nudged me again. “I said to _leave me alone_!”

The wolf’s body stiffened, eyes dulled, and she turned around quickly and trotted off. Of course. Now the amulet works.

I sat next to the dead elf for hours, I think. All I did was stare at the corpse’s face, then my reflection, and then the corpse’s face. They were the same. Why? What could I have asked the demon to do for me to resemble this elf? The answer eluded me.

I had been out all day by the time I decided to return to the cave. Of course that was about the time that I got attacked. Again.

The moon was scarce, and the only light that illuminated the forest around me was that of the stars. Still, I could see the land around me with perfect clarity. A gift, I suppose, from being an elf. The group of ten armed and armored bandits stood out against the greenery.

Unfortunately, while my eyes gave me the ability to see in the dark, they also allowed others to find me with the way my eyes now reflected light.

“Fuck.” I threw myself behind a tree moments before an arrow embedded itself in the bark. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

I could hear men and women barking orders and shouting at each other as the area exploded with activity. I was gonna die. No matter what I did, I was screwed, wasn’t I? If I survived this, the demon would punish me somehow for not getting it that heart. But the idea of being skewered by a weapon didn’t really appeal to me.

“ _Ayuda me_ , please,” I prayed. “Someone help me. I don’t wanna die.”

An arrow ricocheted off a rock a foot away from me and nearly skewered my thigh. I shrieked.

“Please!” I cried out. My hands scrambled around me anxiously, searching for something to help me. Anything. There was not a rock or stick in sight though. I searched the tree I hid behind frantically. There! A divot, just large enough to be used as a handhold. The tree branch not far away. I could climb this. Then what? The archers would pick me off. But if I jumped to the next tree…

A crack in front of me, away from the other bandits, had me scrambling up quickly. Stop thinking, Noemi. Move. Keep moving. An arrow hit the spot I had been standing at previously. My arms pulled me upwards deftly. Soon, I was hidden in the leaves of the tree, my feet scampering across the branches and to a point that would lead me to the next one.

_Oh, this is high. Why? Why do trees have to be tall? And look at that drop!_ I was terrified, but I couldn’t stop. The gap between the treetops was about five feet. I could do this. I can do this. Come on, Noemi. Do it.

The tree lurched, and a glance down showed me that the bandits were following me up. I took a deep breath and took off, soaring through the air with my hair flying everywhere. My landing was hard. I missed the branch I was aiming for and fell several feet before my hand hooked onto one of the lower branches with an inhuman shriek. Splinters dug into my palms. I hissed.

“Fuck Thedas!” I gasped and pulled my body onto the branch. Another glance down showed me that the bandits were carrying torches now. Why would they need torches _now?_

_Oh_ , I thought. _That’s why_.

They were burning the trees.

They. Were. Burning. The. Trees.

“Fucking _arsons_!” I didn’t even care about the heights all that much anymore. I needed to keep going. Tree to tree, the bandits followed me. Sometimes, I would step on a branch that would cave under my weight sending my body and my heart plummeting before I caught myself and kept going.

I think it was only half an hour of this stupid cat and mouse game from hell that I was rescued. Or, well, that my pursuers were killed.

One by one an arrow appeared in the throats of three of the bandits. The others shared uneasy glances before they decided to retreat. One was shot down as they were running. More shouts filled the night and men and women of all sizes and shapes were rushing to the flames with buckets full of water.

With the knowledge that I was now safe, I collapsed on the tree I was currently hiding in and watched the people scramble to stop the fire from spreading. I was so tired now. I needed to find my way back to the cave, but if I just close my eyes for a second…

I’ll open them to the Fade, apparently.

“Fuck me!” I kicked at the ground angrily. I was gonna die. Damn it to hell!

“If that’s really what you desire, dear,” Desire drawled from behind me.

I whirled around, prepared to hurl insults at my executioner, but stopped when I saw what it held in its claws.

A single, beating heart.

“What? How did you…?” I stepped closer clumsily, my feet tripping me up, in a daze.

“You held up your end admirably,” Desire crooned. “I was almost sure you would back out. The surprise was _refreshing_.”

“I didn’t eat the heart,” I stated dumbly.

“Not you, no.” Desire ran a finger over the heart lovingly. “But I told you already, Freedom. You and those mutts are one now. What they eat, you eat and on it goes.”

That. No. What? Just, hold on. Let me process. This is—that is— _what?_

“Can you stop it with the cryptic shit, please? Just tell me what the hell is going on!”

“That comes with a price, dear, but I suppose I can tell you one thing. Free of charge, of course. Just this once.”

Desire floated to stand before me. It was grinning wickedly. “What are you going to tell me?” I asked warily.

“You,” it laughed, “are a spirit.”

“No” was my immediate response.

“Well, not _anymore_ ,” Desire conceded. Its face was puckered in displeasure as it regarded me. “You ruined yourself terribly. I’d love to tell you all about it, but we must settle the terms first.”

“What do you want for the information?” I eye the demon with a large dose of apprehension.

“What do I want? What a strange question. I want what all beings want. But what do I want of you? Hmm, how about a brain?”

“A…brain?” First a heart, now a brain.

“Yes. Get me the brain from the head of that bandit leader, in the same manner as you gave me the heart, and I’ll tell you what you wish to know about your time as a spirit. Do we have an accord?”

I eyed the hand the demon extended. I would have to kill the bandit leader to get his brain. Could I do that? The elf was already dead. It was different. This would be murder. But they were bandits. They kill for a living and for pleasure. But that doesn’t make it right!

Noemi, you need to make a call.

I grasped the demon’s hand. “Deal.”

“Then _wake up_.”

I fell out of a tree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And demons. Demons everywhere. :D  
> If you guys liked that or want to tell me how horrible you find this, leave a comment. I'd love to hear from you all.
> 
> Not sure if I mentioned this, but, in addition to my main tumblr blog, I've started a side blog (http://johskawritesda.tumblr.com/) which focuses on writing (specifically writing about Dragon Age). You can ask me about my characters and story or anything related to writing there. I reblog writing tips and reference materials there in case anyone wants to check it out.
> 
> All the best!
> 
> Johska~


	5. Beasts and Burdens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spirits shouldn't experience this much pain. It's abominable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Long time no update, yeah? Hehe, sorry? On the plus side, if I follow my plan, then the first meeting with a canon character will happen next chapter. Whoo! 
> 
> Hint: she's gonna be teaching Noemi to speak Common. Not read, just speak. Reading is a whole other ball game that she's nowhere near ready for (and her reading teacher has no idea he's gonna have a faithful pupil in the near-ish future).

The easy part was finding the bandits. I just followed the trail of blood and ash, and it led me to a hidden camp that was crawling with disgustingly filthy men and women in rusted armor.

The hard part was looking at the camp. Dozens of people, adults and children alike, were in cages. I spotted a few men, elves and human, hanging from their wrists over an enclosure of Mabari.

They looked ragged. A few men were struggling. Some were limp. The dogs themselves were bloody and dirty and near feral with the way they were barking and snarling. They’d taken to jumping onto each other to try to reach the meal that was just a little too high up for them.

Around them, idle bandits stood cheering them on.

My stomach rolled. This is disgusting. This is horrible. Terrible. An abomination.

I couldn’t help.

I wanted to, but what could I do? I had no training, no back up. If I went in there, I’d just die. Or worse, I’d be captured alongside them. I didn’t speak their language. I wouldn’t be able to rally them to freedom.

Besides that, I still didn’t know who the leader was. Each bandit looked just as raggedy as the next.

Groaning, I settled into the shrubbery on an overlooking hill away from the eyes of the patrolling guards and resigned myself to watching. Eventually, I should be able to pick up on some deference or subservience that would tell me just whose brain I’d have to take.

I cringed at the thought.

The men hung for hours. Slowly, the fight drained from them. When all of them went limp, the bandits forced them into a cage too small to hold them all and doused them with water. A single loaf of bread was tossed in with them. The ensuing fight for a scrap of food was vicious and bloody.

The cheering from the bandits grew louder.

I sat in the shrubbery for hours until the sun began to set and my mind started to drift. Desire said I was a spirit. Or, I used to be a spirit. I wasn’t anymore. A spirit turned elf? Like Cole? Only Cole was always a spirit. I was— _am_ human. I’ve always been human. I grew up in South Florida. I go to Palm Beach State. I’m the daughter of a cop. My memories are real. I’m real. How can I be a spirit-elf-thing if I’m human?

I can’t be. There’s no way. It’s impossible.

Except.

I haven’t done a lot of things since I woke up here. It’s been nearly three days, and I haven’t eaten. I haven’t had anything to drink. I haven’t slept, not really. Just a trance like rest and my unconscious trips to the Fade. Even now, I don’t feel thirsty or hungry. I’m not even remotely tired. I’ve probably been sitting in this damn bush for nearly eleven hours, and I haven’t felt the need to so much as shift positions.

It’s impossible, though. Isn’t it?

A shout from the camp drew my attention.

Like Moses and the Red Sea, the crowd of bandits parted. Three women, an elf and two humans, were forced down the cleared path by a couple of brutes. The humans were crying, screaming, with fat, ugly tears streaming down their faces. The elf was silent, her chin tilted upwards. I could just barely make out the moisture on her cheeks.

Heart racing, I leaned forward. I was overcome with this sudden dread. Please, don’t let this be what I think this is.

The women were stopped before a man, larger and dirtier than the rest, but innocuous enough. He sat on a chair, larger than any other in the camp (a mimicry of a throne, perhaps? Though it’s hardly an armchair), and had his right hand placed on a wooden chest next to him. His smile was slimy—yellow teeth, obvious gaps, and waxy lips—and his eyes were a soulless blue, so light they looked as if they belonged on a ghoul; besides his size, he didn’t stand out. His voice, though, was the worst. It was loud when he spoke, with an edge of mocking. What he was about to do, it said, he was going to enjoy.

Then he backhanded the elf, laughed, and ordered the two brutes to undress the women.

The bandits cheered. All they did was cheer. They were monsters egging on more monsters.

I want them dead, I realized. All of them. They all deserve to die. To take people and strip them of their dignity, their autonomy—death would be fitting.

But what can I do? I am alone. I don’t know how to fight. I would die within a second. Or I’d join the women who were kicking and screaming and fighting with all they had now because if they didn’t those men would—

A wolf howl cut off my spiraling thoughts.

It was followed by another. And another. And another. Thirteen howls for thirteen wolves originating from thirteen positions around the camp.

_“You and those mutts are one now.”_

We could do this, right? We were connected. We could make a game plan. Execute it. Save them.

_“What they eat, you eat, and on it goes.”_

Without hesitation, I jumped out from behind the shrubs and skid down the hill. I had to help. I can’t just ignore them. They need us.

I could hear the pack moving. Their breathing. Their heartbeat. It resonated within me. It pushed me on.

The first bandit I came upon had her back turned to me. With the momentum from my trip down the hill, I tackled her to the ground. Her head slammed down roughly. She didn’t get up. The next bandit, hearing his comrade fall, turned towards me. He let out a surprised yelp and drew the attention of the surrounding bandits. I didn’t look at them, but their tone of voice told me that their thoughts were less than holy.

Panicked, I grabbed a dagger from the fallen bandit. The extent of my combat training was a few self-defense classes that my dad insisted I take. Basically, I could throw a punch.

I was so screwed.

More cries filled the air now, accompanied by snarling and howling, and I knew that the wolves had joined the fight.

Filled with the thrill of the kill that permeated the pack, I lunged at the man in front of me. My blade nicked his arm, but he grabbed me before I could do any more damage. Mercilessly, he threw me onto the ground.

Pain erupted along my back. Stars danced in my eyesight. Holy shit, that hurt. Like, _ow_!

Blinking rapidly, I shook my head to clear the spots in my vision. When I finally focused again, it was to the sight of my ‘opponent’ swinging a _giant fucking axe the size of my body_ at me. Yelping, I rolled to the right and into the woman I had incapacitated ( _Or killed_ , a detached part of me whispered) and it embedded itself in the dirt next to me. Glancing to the left, I could see my reflection in the man’s axe. My pupils dilated to the point that only a thin ring of amber was visible.

The novelty of seeing something actually _clean_ was short lived as the man hefted it out of the ground to try to butcher me again.

I scrambled to my feet, uncaring of the woman I trampled over to put some distance between us or the pain in my back. Not gonna die today. Nope. I refuse. I just need to trip this guy up. Somehow. If only there were something slippery around here like wet tile or a patch…of…ice… _Brilliant!_

Now how the hell do you cast a spell?

I breathed in deeply. You can do this, Noemi. Just repeat what you did yesterday. Turn this place into a Winter Wonderland. Come on. You can do it. Just think cold thoughts. Let it go.

The man lifted his axe over his shoulder, the razor sharp edge glinting in firelight, and I felt my heart constrict. Panic bubbled up, and I became acutely aware of the sounds around me. Women and children were sobbing. Some were screaming. Men were shouting. Wolves were snarling. Mabari were barking.

It was too much. Everything was happening too fast. It needed to slow down. Stop. Pause. Freeze!

I could see my breath.

Quick bursts of condensation puffed in front of me.

The man in front of me was nothing more than an icicle. Frozen in time. Captured in ice. A ring of ice surrounded me for a radius of about forty feet. Everyone within it was frozen, and a quick check confirmed that they were all bandits. About thirty-five in all.

Still, there were about nineteen more to go.

The pack was doing their best, but there were only thirteen—no, eleven—of them, and the bandits had weapons. Still, we could do this. As long as the Mabari aren’t let ou—a screech of metal preceded the release of the rabid war dogs. A bandit I had assumed had been down had pulled himself towards the cage’s lever and let them loose. He was bloody and became the hounds’ first target. His screams were horrifying.

Four of the wolves disengaged their opponent to attack the Mabari. There were only three of them, but they were violent and delirious. If I didn’t do something, we would all be dead.

Scanning the battlefield quickly, I spotted Cato taking on the bandit leader. He was quick and deadly, charging forward to bite or claw at the man’s exposed skin before darting out of range of the beast’s mace. He kept himself between the bandit and the women, protecting them like I wanted.

_We really are connected_ , I realized.

_Yes, and I’d appreciate it if you stopped standing there waiting for us to do all of the work_ , Cato snarled.

I jolted. All this time…I had _actually_ understood them!?

Focus, Noemi! You need to help. How can you help? A diversion? Reinforcements? Like the prisoners. The prisoners! Yes!

They were straining against the cage, trying to get out. Some of them had grabbed onto nearby bandits and pulled them against the cage. Their arms were around their throats, choking the life out of them, or just holding them in place so a wolf could get at them. Several of them had grabbed the weapons from the bodies nearest them and were attacking any bandit that passed within reach.

If I could just get the key…

Which was on the bandit leader’s belt. Perfect. Fucking great.

Slinking through the battlefield, I approached them. Each of my steps _squelched_ obscenely, and I had to stop myself from thinking about how recently it had rained because _it’s water it has to be water don’t be ridiculous, Noemi_.

The bandit leader was focused on his bout against Cato. He didn’t notice my approach. He didn’t notice me raising my pilfered dagger. Not until I was right behind him and shouted, “Hey, asshole!”

He didn’t know what I said, but he still turned around. As soon as he did, I brought my arm down viciously, gouging into his face and through his eye. He yowled, turned with the blade, and then surged forward. His mace slammed into my left arm, tearing into the flesh for a moment before Cato was on him and tearing out his throat.

_“Shit!_ ” I collapsed. My eyes burned, my arm was on fire, and _holy shit that hurts that hurts that hurts!_

_Get ahold of yourself,_ Cato scolded. He brushed passed me, his fur tickling my side, and rejoined the battle. The bandit leader was lying in a growing patch of mud.

Gritting my teeth, I forced myself to my knees and crawled towards him. My back twanged painfully, and My left arm was pressed tight to my chest to keep it from jostling too much as I groped at his belt for the keys. His blood made it hard to grasp anything. _Water, Noemi. It’s just water._

Finally, I got the keys loose.

Panting, I swiped my hair ( _long, too long, it’s everywhere_ ) out of my face leaving thick bloody streaks across my cheeks and forehead, and limped towards the cages. I set the men free first. Their faces were eager for payback that I wouldn’t deny them. The women and children stared at me with wide, cautious eyes.

Ferelden women were fierce; I have no doubt they’d be just as formidable as the men. They had different priorities though.

As soon as they were free—and what a rush that was, granting them freedom. I felt whole now, fulfilled—they picked up weapons left behind by the dead and dying and ushered the children to safety. A few of them would stop to skewer a bandit, kick one of their dead captors or spit at them.

They were amazing.  

The playing field was more than even now. Only two bandits remained, and the prisoners were making quick work of them. Unfortunately, four of the prisoners died in the assault, one was decapitated and another was mauled by a mabari that had escaped the pack’s attack. As for the pack, of the thirteen only seven remained. I was relieved to see that Cato made it through.

_We must leave,_ Cato said. He stood in front of me, studying the carnage with a calm that I couldn’t grasp and a bloody muzzle. _Once the men are dead, they will turn on us. Grab what you need and let us go._

I nodded. “I’d appreciate if one of you could drag this body out of here. I need his brain.”

_Yes. Your,_ he eyed me slowly, _payment. It will be done._

Two wolves latched onto the bandit leader’s ankles and hauled his body out of the camp and in the direction of the cave. The other four followed them. Under Cato’s watchful eyes, I ran up to a chest next to the leader’s throne and started to shift through the contents.

I pocketed any gold I found and took any papers that had official looking seals on them. Someday I would learn to read. When that day comes, these could be important.

At the bottom of the chest, I found a small red vial. Health potion? My arm and back throbbed painfully, and I was already working to uncork it when I caught sight of the small elven woman from earlier crouching a few feet away from me. She was staring at me with wide grey eyes, hair disheveled, and cheek swelling. A nasty gash cut across her face, from the bandit’s gauntlet no doubt, and her lips moved soundlessly over and over as if in prayer.

I glanced at the potion wistfully. I had to do it, didn’t I?

Without a word, I rolled it towards her and returned to perusing through the chest. There was nothing else of interest.

Sighing, I jogged towards Cato whom was pacing by the camp’s entrance in agitation. His eyes were fixated on the people we had just liberated. They were careful to avoid him as they reunited with each other. Cato glanced at me briefly when I approached and took off into the forest.

As I passed, I hefted the giant, shiny axe that nearly killed me over my shoulder with my good arm and followed him out.

_That was dangerous and reckless_ , Cato was quick to say when I caught up.

“I needed something to bash his skull open with,” I defended between huffs. The exertion of traipsing through the forest while lugging this scrap metal around was killing me. If I _was_ a spirit, I don’t think I’d be struggling so much.

_I meant engaging those savages_ , he growled. _We lost many brothers and sisters tonight. To save monsters that would sooner skin and wear us than leave us to live our lives._

My quick steps faltered, and I nearly fell on my face. Six of them had died freeing those people. People who probably wouldn’t hesitate to kill them if they crossed paths.

_But I freed them_ , I reasoned. _Everyone deserves freedom. A caged animal—human or elf—is vulnerable. It’s cruel, to trap them so they can’t fight._

_I’ve seen the consequences of their traps!_ Cato snarled. _Cowards. Beasts! They hide them in the foliage and wait until we’re caught. Then, once we’ve given up the fight, they give us ‘mercy’ and use our heads as trophies, pelts as clothes, and bones as adornments. We should not have saved them at all._

“But they’re people!” I cried, shaking my head back and forth and back again. “We couldn’t have just left them—!”

_AND ARE WE NOT PEOPLE TOO!?_ He roared. _Or are we just puppets to you? Slaves? Beasts of burden to do your bidding because you wish it so?_

“Hey, I tried to give the amulet back!”

_Yet you were quick to use it’s magics._

“Wha—? Is this because of Amynta? I didn’t mean to send her away! I was upset. I just wanted to be alone. I didn’t know the amulet would make her leave.”

_My mate views you as her pup_. Cato tossed his head and made a sound like a scoff. _You hurt her heart and still she sends me to fetch you. She cares too deeply for you beasts._

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

_Waste your breath on someone else. You are a pup, so you’ll be treated as a pup. Make your peace with her, and we will begin._ He turned from me then, and continued on to shelter.

I struggled to keep up. “Begin? Begin what?”

_Your ritual,_ he sneered, _and then your training. You nearly died twenty-three times in that exchange, and I will not suffer my mate’s grief if she loses another pup. Especially not over something as juvenile as a brawl._

“A ‘brawl’? They had swords! And maces! I was hit in the arm with a mace! I’m still bleeding over here! _Ah, shit!_ ” In my indignation, I had lifted my injured arm only to realize that it was, in fact, injured, and promptly regretted it.

_Yes._ Cato purred. _Juvenile._

We marched on in silence until we approached the pack’s home. Several wolves were loitering outside, licking and coddling at each other in joy and relief. Others were alone, lying despondently, and I had the horrible thought that these were the mates and family of the wolves that didn’t make it.

_Amynta is inside. You must undue your command quickly or she will try to leave._ Cato said gruffly. He disappeared from my side in the direction of the lone wolves.

“Right. I can do this,” I said to myself. Avoiding eye contact with any of the wolves around the entrance (and feeling thoroughly judged), I set down my new axe and strode into the cave. “Amynta, I need you to disregard my last order.”

Amynta froze then relaxed. She shook out her body, stretching lazily, and settled down with her back to me. Her tail wagged, once, twice, and then curled around her as she went to sleep.

“I’m sorry, Amynta. I didn’t mean to send you away,” I apologized. “I’m new to magic. I didn’t realize the amulet would take my words and make it into something I didn’t want.”

_Then perhaps you should not have said it,_ she huffed. Her eyes were still shut as if she were resting, but her ears were alert.

“You’re right. I was out of line,” I ran my hand through my hair, fingers snagging on knots, and nodded. “But I was also upset. Can you forgive me?”

She lifted her head and licked at her furry paw idly for a long, tense moment. Finally, she stood up and walked towards me. I fell to my knees before her, not moving.

_Look at the mess you’ve made of yourself_ , she scolded. Her cold nose nudged at my injured arm. _Your recklessness knows no bounds, does it?_

“Now,” I laughed. “Not really? I didn’t mean to?”

Amynta sighed. _And what will we do with that?_ She looked towards the bandit corpse in the corner of the cave distastefully.

“Well, that’s the fun part,” I moaned.

 

**Author's Note:**

> The original prompt can be found here: http://moderngirlinthedas.tumblr.com/post/140320816735/mgit-prompt-5  
> and my tumblr is here: http://johskawritesda.tumblr.com.
> 
> If you like MGiT fics, check out ModernGirlinThedas' tumblr. It's amazing. Seriously. :D


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